What’s the best shade?

Aaahhh I clearly remember this time last year I swore to get that air conditioning fixed…

Anyways, like all non-working AC cars, you gotta find that sweet shade in the summertime. I have to admit, i’m getting pretty good about it. You at least have to crack the windows open a bit, get that sun shade out (maybe even a window shade or two), and if you can, find that ultimate shaded spot.

But not all shades are created equal, I’m afraid! No no no, NEVER park directly under a tree if you can avoid it. Summer is in full swing, berries and fruit is in full bloom, and the birds.. those terribly messy birds… are calling a picnic. Sometimes I even check the trees when parked just to make sure – but somehow they know. They know you’ve just washed your car. They know you’ll be gone long enough for them to call all their bird buddies. Crack open cans of berry juice, and let all bowel hell break loose. And as they’re slumbering away in the cool shady tree, all they can dream in their bitty birdy minds: “oh yeah, we done good. We done real good”.

Baked berry juice: a real b*tch.

No that’s not high-quality paint flecks; that’s berry stains…after a wash and scrub. Image the whole car, littered.



Oh, so the best shade to park your car under is the shade that’s off to the side of the tree! (ding ding ding). Yep, that means avoid parking outside around noon when the sun is high. Or spray a tree with a few rounds of buck shot before hand…

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